Bubbers,

You're one now. You are such a big boy. I remember when just a year ago I could hold you with one arm and you were light as a feather. Now it seems I have to hoist you on my hip with my legs far apart to get the perfect stance. You never cease to amaze me.

On your first birthday it dawned on me that this was going to happen every year. You were going to have a party of course, but more significantly you were going to grow up over time. Shocking, I know! I'm not too fond of that idea to be honest. What's it going to be like when you don't run up and down the whole expanse of the house anymore, just to throw yourself on the ground and explode in laughter? What's it going to feel like when giving Mommy kisses isn't going to be a priority? What's it going to look like when you're away at school with your friends and Mommy's not cool anymore? How am I going to pass my evenings when I'm not being squirted in the face with your whale during baths?

These questions are really hard to deal with. But part of having beautiful, successful children is learning to let go and let them grow. So I'm going to let you do just that. These are the things I want for you in this time in your life:

I want you to laugh at everything!
I want you to get frustrated when you can't do something.
I want you to figure it out and be so proud of yourself!
I want you to try every sport, every hobby, every book.
I want you to find what you love and do it as much as possible.
I want you to walk around holding your shirt up to show me that big belly.
I want you to eat all the pb&j and Ritz crackers you can.
Drink from that bottle until you can't no more.
Suck on your binky as long as it makes you happy.
Smile, smile, smile.
Give me kisses every morning, before day care, after I get home from work, throw a couple in before bath time, then give me the biggest one you can right before I lay you down.
Don't you dare stop until it gets uncool!

Really though, just be a baby.

I want you to have everything in life. I never want you to look back and say you regretted a thing. You're Mommy's little boy and I will do everything I can to make sure you are loved more than any other person has ever been loved.

You are my world Oliver,
I love you,

Mommy.